baise-miel

why do i procrastinate so bad??

is watching anchorman

wants a salad… a chicken waldorf salad… with grapes.

loves picklecat

depressed?

that title is cliche and i wanted to put it some other way, but that’s just how it sounds best.

i. just. feel. blah.

not particularly sad or anxious, not even really bored… i’m actually content… but not joyful, just… comfortably numb.

maybe the high of manic episodes takes all the understanding out of pure happiness.  i expect too much out of everything, even my own emotions.  how is life supposed to feel?

or maybe it’s that i’m not writing and traveling, like i’d like to be doing.  maybe it’s that i’m not living with much passion, fuck, i’m not even really sure of where my passion lies anymore.  maybe it’s that i try so hard to make someone happy, but never feel like i succeed.  it could possibly be the fact that i feel like a black hole who constantly needs from other people.

it’s not like i don’t make myself happy… i’m constantly proud of things i do & who i am… i just don’t feel like anyone else sees it.  it would be nice to hear it from someone else for once.  is it supposed to be enough just to feel it yourself?

i think it could just be that i’ve been ruined by the extremes of my own emotions & depths of my own imagination.

is a master chef!

is considering working out

needs a new webcam

a reason to leave the internet

christ… i’m just barely beginning to be online again and already i’ve been reminded of why i shyed away in the first place.

someone i used to talk to online… never met before in person… just IMed me and asked me for my new cell number.  i ignored the question, asked him what he’s been up to… and he asks me why i don’t want to give him my number…  ok, when he had my number, he pretty much never called me, so i’m wondering what exactly he did with my number.  also, why does a person i’ve never even met NEED my cell phone number.

so, i answer, “Have we ever met?”  granted, this could be seen as being fairly rude… but i’m a very playful person and that’s just how i am, i have attitude… he’s talked to me an extensive amount, he SHOULD know this.

he starts going off on me about how i’m being a bitch and we’re friends.  calls me rude and basically does the online equivalent of stomping off and pouting.

ok, seriously, why are guys like this??  they can feel this sense of entitlement… demand things that they have no business getting… and girls giving a simple “no” makes us bitches?  oh and of course, calling me a “bitch” is in no way, shape, or form rude… riiiiight.